Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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