i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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