Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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