Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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