hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
