I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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