If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
