Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
