Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
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