I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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