He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
