I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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