turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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