i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
