Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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