i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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