Your tits are I can't wait for
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize