My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
