It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
