I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
