hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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