Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
