this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
