I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
