My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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