were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just puked most of my soul out..
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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