Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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