Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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