its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
