yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
