Christians are straight up FREAKS
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
