i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
