i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
