Three words: puerto rican gang bang
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My ass is underappreciated
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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