He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
