i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
