Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
