I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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