Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
