After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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