I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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