I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
