Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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