its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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