ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
