Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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