Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
