you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
