Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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