I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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