Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
