I hate all girls vehemently.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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